If you could know when you were going to die, would you want to know?
This was one of the the discussions at Corcetta restorante that we paired with a nice bottle of Piedmont white and risotto with asparagus both blanketed with melted parmesan.
I decided in that moment that cheese truly makes everything better.
Many around the table, and in particular, one brilliant señora did not want to know.
What if instead of being motivated and positive, I just worry and freeze and am stressed - especially as it gets closer to the date? she asked.
Yes, it's true. It could happen. That is a risk.
But I still would want to know.
Because we all have a when, even if we don't know when that is.
Yet, most of us move through this life with routines and habits, things we should do, things we feel we have to do, things we do even without thinking.
Yet how often do we think and actually do what we love to do? I would dare to say that for many of us, not often.
Your when may arrive in 57 years, or it could be in 3 months, or in 14 days, maybe 36 minutes. You never know. Yet most of us move through this like we will get those 57, or 88, or 100 years.
I had my epiphany when I started doing everything that I said I'd get around to when I had time. What I realized was that I did have time...but I wasn't making time. I was filling it up with senseless stuff that added little value to me, to anyone. It just made me busy, which is the worst kind of senseless to be. So we now have a little puppy whom we adore, I'm learning to play the piano and I am writing - which is my most favourite thing to do.
I think the worry and stress is not in thinking about our death and the when of it.
Rather, it is that we hardly think about life and the why of it.
It is that we don't get around to the why not now of our dreams.
We put it off, we'll do it later, when we retire, when the kids grow up, when there is more money, more down time, more...more ...more...more.
Except as we wait for this magical, mystical, majestic day, there will always be less time.