I write... no response for days, sometimes weeks. I make plans...they get cancelled more often than not. I suggest books or movies or places to visit...they don't really get a second thought.
These are signs that I am clearly in a one -sided friendship. I know it is time to cut the cord. But it is so hard. There are things I love about these friends. When we meet up, it's like old times and we laugh at all our inside jokes. There is also a lot of history. Sometimes 20 years of history. So, most of the time, I cut them slack and give these friends the benefit of the doubt.
But then there are times when I reach a F&^%$K it, point. That is the point where it's just too obvious to me that the friendship is more draining than nurturing. That the unbalanced effort and hassle just to see each other is not worth it any more. I've done this once with a close friend who just couldn't understand that friendships flourish when we both try - not when she needed something, or when it was convenient for her to make time for me if she had any left after all her priorities. Interestingly, after a few years, that friendship is renewed and it is more balanced. People change and eventually they get it. With some other one-sided friendships, I have simply just stopped trying. Let's see if they'll put in some effort. Not sure yet. We'll see.
Ending friendships, even one-sided ones, can be heart breaking. At least I can take comfort in dark chocolate, which has never let me down.
Although, I must say, it is the kind of friend that likes to overstay its welcome.