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Twin Peaks


Did you think he forgot? Trusted Columbo was on it! He put on his raincoat and dragged his sleepy dog and searched for clues to find this highly incriminating list of North American nicknames for breasts. True, there is some overlap with the British boob list, but others like 'Diane Sawyers' are quintessentially American. From Buzz Feed, the girls and I present to you Nora Whelan's 99 Names to Call Your Boobs:

1. Breasts

2. Jugs

3. Cans

4. Knockers

5. Bongos

6. Bubbies

7. Bumpers

8. Blorps

9. BEWBZ

10. Tits

1. Tatas

12. "The Twins"

13. Chesticles

14. Chi chis

15. Chebs

16. Charlies

17. Cha cha bingos

18. Chubby chest cheeks

19. Gazongas

20. Kahunas

21. Flabbergasters

22. Tittie

23. Double lattes

24. Golden Globes

25. Jubblies

26. Nunga nungas

27. Pinch pots

28. Headlamps

29. Hindenburgs

30. Honkerburgers

31. Tittaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyysssssss-ah

2. Lady bubbles

33. Lilyhammers

34. Lunchables

35. Life ruiners

36. Mankillers

37. Smothers Brothers

38. Sweater stretchers

39. Shirt saboteurs

40. Snuggle pups

41. Maracas

42. Marshmallows

43. Meat-a-ball-as

44. Melons

45. Milk Duds

46. Mudflaps

47. Liberty bells

48. Little Rascals

49. Bouncy castles

50. Baby Busters

51. Diane Sawyers

52. Danny Devitos

53. Don Delillos

54. Phil and Lil

55. Lucy and Ethel

56. Tia and Tamera

57. Bey and Jay

58. Fred and Ginger

59. Starsky and Hutch

60. Funkmaster and Flex

61. Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat

62. The A Team (size specific)

63. The Dream Team (not size specific)

64. Floatsy and Flopsy

65. Swanger and Banger

66. Goose Down and Fiber Fill

67. Squirmy and Squealer

68. Ying Yang Twins

69. ( . Y . )

70. Babushkas

71. Baby buffets

72. Barnyard boppers

73. Rocket launchers

74. Rattlers

75. Traffic stoppers

76. Twin Peaks

77. Tater tots

78. Terrordomes

79. Chest butt

80. Jingle bells

81. Dinosaur eggs

82. Party pillows

83. Labradoodles

84. Shoulder boulders

85. Cleave-conspirators

86. Built in stress balls

87. The only reason some people should open their mouths

88. Berries

89. Peaches

90. Patticakes

91. Dumplings

92. Honey hams

93. Candy yams

94. Nuggets

95. Nibbles

96. Fruits of independence

97. Scones

98. Samosas

99. Enchildas con salsa roja

Twin Peaks is my favourite! And I think Snap and Crackle from How I Met Your Mother should be on the list. I tell my love that he should come up with a nickname for the girls. What? he asks half-listening fully focussed on destroying the Borg. So, I help him by brainstorming some suggestions:

Brown sugars cubes

Bunsen and Beaker

Dupont and Dupont

The Thompson Twins

MET Gala Balls

As usual, I am laughing at my own jokes. Corny as ever.

Which reminds me...He can call them peaches and cream!

#twinpeaks #columbo #boobnames

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